The late, great comedian, actor, writer, ground-breaker, provocateur, and raconteur George Carlin would have turned 77 years old today, and while that's not the kind of nice, round number that usually accompanies a tribute, it also doesn't make a helluva lot of sense to play by the rules when it comes to Carlin. Over his nearly 50-year career, Carlin became one of our most astute political commentators and social critics — and, like the best stand-up comics, his material seldom (if ever) ages. So we've assembled some still-relevant words of wisdom from Carlin's books and stand-up specials, in honor of the brilliant comedian and his truly one-of-a-kind voice.

George Carlin

On language:
"Griddle cakes, pancakes, hot cakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?" (Napalm & Silly Putty, 2002)

On airline announcements:
"About this time, someone is telling you to get on the plane. 'Get on the plane. Get on the plane.' I say, 'Fuck you, I'm getting in the plane! In the plane! Let Evel Knievel get on the plane! I'll be in here with you folks in uniform! There seems to be less wind in here!'" (Jammin' in New York, 1992)

On the sexes:
"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." (When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops, 2005)

On men:
"Females create life, males end it. War, crime, and violence are primarily male franchises. Man shit. It's nature's supreme joke. Deep in the womb, men start out as the good thing, and wind up as the crappy thing. Not all men. Just enough. Just enough to fuck things up." (When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops, 2005)

On grooming:
"I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the same brush." (Brain Droppings, 1998)

On hygiene:
"I never wash my hands after using a public restroom. Unless something gets on me. Otherwise, I figure I'm as clean as when I walked in. Besides, the sink is usually filthier than I am. I'm convinced that many of the men I see frantically washing up do not do the same thing at home. Americans are obsessed with appearances and have an unhealthy fixation on cleanliness. Relax, boys. It's only your dick. If it's so dirty that after handling it you need to wash your hands, you may as well just go ahead and scrub your dick while you're at it. Tell the truth. Wouldn't you like to see some guy trying to dry his genitals with one of those forced-air blowing machines that are mounted four feet off the ground?" (Brain Droppings, 1998)