You're in a new relationship, and that's great! There's just one problem: you met your partner in real life, at a bar. It's obviously hard to confess to people that you didn't meet online. (What kind of dinosaur are you?) But here are some helpful tips for telling friends and family the real story.
Explain that you weren't meeting anyone good online.
It's a common stereotype that women who meet men in real life are desperate. What, were you so incapable of finding a decent guy on Coffee Meets Bagel that you had to resort to making eye contact with strangers? But, if that's your humiliating situation, just make peace with it.
Your friends are probably just confused. Explain the logistics of meeting in person. Sometimes a man will send you a drink at a bar, which is the equivalent of getting a notification. Slap your partner's face a few times to demonstrate the real-life swiping process.
Provide examples of other couples who met in real life.
There are a lot of I.R.L. relationships that work out! Your grandparents, for example. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, I think. Ross and Rachel. (You may need to go fictional if you run out of options.)
Meeting in real life is like using Yahoo instead of Google. Sure, it's outdated and no one does it. Actually, that's the whole metaphor.
You met a handsome, rich, kind man at a bar on a Friday, and, although that definitely is something to be embarrassed about, there's no reason it has to define your relationship. So be proud. Haters gonna hate, and, honestly, Lucy has always thought she was better than you—nothing will change that.
Blame the Wi-Fi connection.
It's Starbucks' fault you couldn't meet online.
Every wedding toast now includes an adorable story of how the groom was about to quit Tinder when he saw a beautiful photo of the bride and her second cousin's golden retriever. Just make up an OkCupid meet-cute: it was a rainy Sunday afternoon, and you were scrolling through firefighters and watching "This Is Us" when you happened upon a handsome single dad. Ninety-eight-per-cent match? A true angel, algorithm-sent.
Spill your wine on anyone who asks how you met.
There's no reason your busybody friends need to butt into your private life!
Divert attention to your friend's divorce.
If Sheila starts judging you for meeting someone in real life, remind her that her Hinge marriage lasted a mere two years. When she bursts into tears, apologize profusely and assure her that Barry's new wife definitely does not have her pizzazz.
Claim that you were on a digital detox.
Use words they'll understand, like "unplug" and "Gwyneth" and "Cambridge Analytica."
The weather, am I right?
Much like the story of how you met Sam, the weather right now makes no sense. Bring that up instead.
Sleep with Janie's boyfriend.
This is a great way to remind the whole friend group that
not all the men you meet on Bumble are perfect.
Dump him for someone you met on Tinder.
It's not too late to find someone online.
So call off the engagement and start responding to a few "U up?" messages. This is probably the easiest way to avoid having to explain to your friends that you were enough of a loser to meet someone in real life.